If I Could Bum A Smoke, That’d Be Peachy

I’m not sure why Joel David Lemasters was walking around Oregon carrying a peach pie at 8 in the morning, but I guess I could see where one might come in handy. They’re delicious if you get hungry, they make great gifts for a special someone and, at least theoretically, they should be useful when gaining the compliance of another individual is necessary, like say when some stupid woman outside a restaurant refuses to give you a cigarette.

Sgt. Dan Kraus, Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office spokesman, said a man approached the woman at around 8am and asked her for a cigarette. When she refused, the man became agitated. “He got really mad and started yelling,” Kraus said. “Then he wound up and threw a pie at her.”

After receiving a 911 call, deputies arrived quickly. “And while police were there, he tried to assault her again,” Kraus said. “He charged at her – right in front of the deputies.” A deputy intercepted the man, threw him to the ground using a hip roll, then handcuffed him.

Are they sure he was looking to have another go at her? Maybe, realizing he wasn’t getting a smoke, he was simply trying to retrieve his pie so he’d at least have something to eat. I hear that helps with the cravings.

In any event, he was taken in on suspicion of harassment, criminal mischief and violating parole.

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