When he’s not busy crippling our country’s public broadcaster, doing even more damage to an already flawed election system or slowly eroding our rights and freedoms, Stephen Harper can be found kicking out the jams with his band, the C-51’s. The band is so named because it’s the closest I could get to B-52’s, which is already taken. It’s a shame too because the B-52’s would be a perfect name for a Stephen Harper fronted rock band. He seems like a fellow who has a fondness for war planes, for a start. If they had to sell tickets based on ability alone, they would bomb. After a few B52’s, they might start to sound kind of ok. And perhaps most importantly, B-52 is a phrase one might hear in a bingo hall, one of the few locations on earth where these clowns might have a snowball’s faintest chance in Hades of appearing even the least bit cool.
Watch this and tell me your first thought isn’t dude from a church group trying to prove to the kids that he’s hip.
To be fair, Burton Cummings is a hard voice to cover. Maybe we should cut poor Steve some slack. Perhaps he’d have better luck tackling something in a less acrobatic vocal range. Some Neil Diamond might be just the ticket.
Ok, how about Imagine? Everybody can sing Imagine.
Fine. Everybody but Stephen Harper can sing Imagine. Jesus.
There are more, believe it or not. You can find his collected works here, if you must. I’d suggest he not quit his day job, but I’d really really like it if he’d quit his day job.