Put All The Money In John’s Bag!

Part way through the story of John David Martinez’s horribly bungled bank robbery, I started feeling bad for him and thinking maybe I’d have a heart and not post it. I mean the poor guy is nearly 70 years old and he and his wife had been living in a Ramada after being evicted from their home, so lord knows he could have been desperate and just not very good at this crime thing because it’s not who he is.

Turns out I was half right, but not what would pass for the good half. Seems Martinez had previously been arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, forgery, criminal impersonation, DUI hit and run and resisting arrest. So yeah, odds are with this totally being who he is.


According to court records, 68-year-old John David Martinez was wearing a black T-shirt with his first name on it when he entered the Wells Fargo bank at 1777 W. 38th Ave. just after 9 a.m. Tuesday.
The man’s next mistake was driving a silver Honda sedan that was registered in his name. Investigators soon identified Martinez as the suspect through the license plate, according to a police probable cause statement supporting the man’s arrest.

That nice little rundown up there now includes felony robbery involving $20,000 or more.

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