Before We Get Started, Let Me Show You How I Got My Last Name

A Toronto area psychologist is under investigation for sexually assaulting at least 3 of his male patients during incidents that so far date back to 2001. If you know anything about or may have been a victim of Dr. Vincent Hung Lo, the Peel police’s Special Victim’s Unit would like to hear from you. The […]

I’m Hungry. Think I’ll Hit The Nobody’s Driving Through

We hear about multi-vehicle accidents and truck load spills all the time, but I can’t remember another instance of those circumstances coming together to make a giant road omelette. According to officials on the scene, the first truck overturned after its axle snapped, spilling thousands of eggs all over the roadway. The truck that caused […]

Wizzing On The Electric Fence Doesn’t Sound So Bad Now

I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if you’re going to rob a store of one of its fish tanks or quite literally anything else, stop for a leak *before* the heist. This is always true, but especially because the wasps you’re hosing down give zero fucks that the cops are on your trail. […]

Mountain Do

Don’t do meth, everyone. Dominic Howells, prosecuting, said the owner of an allotment near Harwood Street found the shed had been broken into and the contents spread all around. Among the wreckage she found the teddy bear. “That was passed to the police and semen found inside came back to this defendant,” said Mr Howells. […]