If Doing Something Out Of The Ordinary Results In Terrified Screams, Is It A Good Idea?

Watch this commercial with your eyes closed. Seriously. Click the link and close your eyes without seeing the title. I’m not even going to embed this one because I don’t want any cheating. Before the woman starts talking, what the hell do you think is going on? I was sure it was some kind of […]

Can I Get You A Pillow? Only If You’ll Lay On It With Me

More times than you’d like to think, we’ve covered in flight molestations involving some creep and the random, short straw drawing woman who was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But as best I can tell, this right here will be the first time a passenger decided that not only was […]

You Can Buy Cake At KFC. I Know This Because Some People Had One Thrown At Them

Wait wait wait. KFC sells cake? As Abts-Olsen and his partner Cliff Borjeson rolled to the scene, details of the attack trickled in from dispatchers: “Unknown male was throwing cake at employees.” Followed by the ominous: “They can no longer sell the cake.” Employees told the two officers that a man walked into the store, threw a KFC-brand cake at them and […]

Rocko Bell

I get the part with the cursing and screaming and chasing and rocks, but who the fuck eats breakfast at Taco Bell? KGUN-TV in Tucson reports that a local woman recently went through the Taco Bell drive-thru. All seemed fine, though it did take about 10 minutes for her order to come out. Problem is, […]

Beat Off In The Coffee While You Still Can, Guys

There’s an update to a story we brought you last year. John Lind, the fellow who professed his love for a woman by repeatedly firing his non-dairy cannon into her coffee, had his charges dismissed because while totally fucking disgusting, what he did isn’t technically against the law…yet. The State is working on closing that […]

You Kids Wait Here While I Go Get Arrested For Having You Wait Here

There’s never a good time to leave your small children in a sweltering car, but for over an hour while you turn yourself in at the courthouse on a warrant for having previously left your small children in a sweltering car is a particularly poor one. On May 26, Newby was initially accused of leaving […]