I’m Feeling Down, But You’d Never Know It From These Pictures I’d Like To Show You

I’ve done a lot of things to cheer myself up when I’m feeling blue. I’ve listened to music. I’ve written things. I’ve taken walks. Turned on the Comedy Network and hoped not to find yet another episode of the fucking Big Bang Theory (Seriously, is that all they show on there anymore?). But one thing I’ve never tried is taking pictures of my twig and berries and then showing them off to the nice workers down at the local department store.

Photo of David Keith Slovinski.
On Jan. 28, police say Slovinski showed up in the photo department of the Meijer store at 3434 Century Center St. SW near RiverTown Crossings Mall.
While in the photo department of the store, he showed his unsettling selfies to an employee there, according to Grandville Police.
Two days later, Slovinski’s tether showed him at the Meijer Store, 5500 Clyde Park Ave. SW, in Wyoming, according to police.
At the Meijer store he allegedly was talking to a female employee in the electronics department when he pulled out his phone and displayed pictures of his exposed privates, according to a probable cause affidavit in Wyoming District Court.
Police say Slovinski was identified on video at the Meijer stores and he also confessed to the exposure.
Slovinski allegedly admitted to a Grandville Police investigator that he knew showing pictures of his privates was wrong, but said he also liked seeing how people reacted when confronted by a picture of his unmentionables.
“Yeah, it cheers me up when I’m feeling down,” Slovinski is quoted as saying in an affidavit in Grandville District Court.

That tether they mention would be his court ordered GPS monitor which he was wearing because believe it or not, he’s been in and out of trouble and prison more than once in the last 20 years due to various peeping and indecent exposure incidents. He’s now charged as a sexually delinquent person, which means that he could be potentially locked up for life if it isn’t determined at any point before then that he’s no longer a threat.

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