Childhood Diseases

The inbox is gold today. Here’s another one I used to love telling when I was a kid. Thanks for actually encouraging this side of me, mom and dad.

A young couple arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing, as couples do.

When the groom took off his socks, his new wife noticed something strange.

“What’s wrong with your feet!?” she asked.

“I had tolio as a child,” he answered.

“You mean polio?”

“No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.”

The bride was satisfied with this explanation and they continued undressing. But when the groom took off his pants, she once again had questions.

“What’s wrong with your knees!?” she asked!. “They’re all lumpy and deformed!”

“As a child, I also had kneasles,” he explained.

“You mean measles?”

“No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.”

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.

As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear. She looked him up and down and said worriedly..

“Don’t tell me you had smallcox too!””

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4 comments
  1. I like your version better, I’d heard Toe-main poisoning, Knee-Monia, and Dip-theria.

    1. What the…? that last one doesn’t even make sense. Or maybe I’m missing something.

      But the version here was pretty much like the one I remember mom telling me when I was about 10.

      1. I think mom badly butchered something that might have been dicktheria or some such.

        1. I wondered if there should be a dick in there. What a sentence that was.

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