Slip In Slide

A man with a fetish for children’s playground equipment has been banned from going anywhere that has a slide.

Christopher Johnson, 46, of Coventry, was arrested after simulating a sexual act with a slide.

He pleaded guilty at Coventry Magistrates’ Court to outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner and received a three-year Criminal Behaviour Order.

The order bans him from attending any location, including parks, leisure centres, swimming baths, lidos or recreation grounds were there is a slide.
Johnson also received a three-year community order, which includes having sex offender treatment for 18 months, and a rehabilitation activity requirement.

He was also ordered to pay a £55 fine, £85 in costs, a £180 criminal courts charge which sounds an awful lot to my admittedly uneducated brain like they’re double dipping on those costs and a £60 victim surcharge. £60? That’s a lot of money to mop a slide.

If that penalty sounds harsh to you, A: you’re probably a little weird yourself and B: it almost certainly has something to do with his previous conviction for doing the same thing in the summer of 2014.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what the hell a lido is (I was), it’s a beach, more or less.

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