Dear Victim: Thank You For The Candy. Here Are My Teeth As A Token Of Appreciation. Sincerely, Thief

Some people really don’t do drunk well. It would seem that Connie Frances Perris might just be one of them. And in what may be a case of one relating to the other, she doesn’t appear to be so hot at burglary, either.

After breaking into one apartment and finding it occupied, she decided to take a crack at another in the same building rather than calling it a night because why would the person I just walked in on be inclined to call the cops, or something.

Police say Perris then entered a second apartment, which was not occupied at the time, and began to steal and eat candy.

Officials say Perris then urinated on the floor. They say she also took out her dentures and left them in the apartment, along with a handwritten note with her name on it.

After what I’m sure must have been a heroic amount of effort, police were able to catch up with her. She was arrested and slapped with numerous charges including burglary, criminal trespass, theft, criminal mischief, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness.

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