Prick Or Treat

I don’t know what this says about me or the world in general, but I was more surprised to learn that there are Halloween Superstores than I was to hear that a fellow was caught masturbating in one of them.

Nigel Smith, 36, was inside the Spirit Halloween Superstore in Portland last week when a worker and a customer spotted him with his genitals exposed, according to a probable cause affidavit.
The female customer told police she saw Smith “whacking off.” Upon learning of the masturbating, a store employee told cops that she contacted Smith, who was perusing “photos of women on the packaging of Halloween costumes.”
When a male employee then confronted Smith, he allegedly shoved the worker and sought to run from the store. The employee told cops that he subsequently tackled Smith, who bit him.

It took three men to hold Smith down until police arrived. When they did, one of the officers noted a “very noticeable wet spot on the front of [Smith’s] grey sweat shorts, directly in front of his genitals.” Smith explained that this was only sweat, which while I can’t imagine anyone wanting to further investigate on scene to confirm, sounds like one of those stories that’s gonna be a lie if/when some test results come back.

He was charged with felony public indecency and assault and freed on his own recognizance pending a court appearance.

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