Twitter Will Now Give You Space To Explain Your Photos To Blind People. Please Use It

As a blind Twitter user, I can say without a moment’s hesitation that there aren’t many things more off pissing about the experience than tweets full of pictures I can’t possibly understand. At the best of times its annoying because I’d like to be in on the joke too, but it’s especially irritating when those […]

Give Me All Your Money Or I’ll Meet You At The Mall Tomorrow And You Can Give It To Me Then

I don’t know if Jason Donte Hayes will wind up being the stupidest criminal of 2016 as this article suggests, but it’ll definitely be safe to shortlist him. According to reports, Hayes disguised himself and entered the home of an elderly couple he used to rent a house from. He woke the woman up with […]

For The Second Time Today, Don’t Dink And Drive

Thankfully nobody died this time. A Georgia motorist was masturbating when he plowed his vehicle into a van that had stopped at an intersection, police report. According to cops, Donald Marvin Johnson, 63, was “physically distracted” while driving his Saturn Ion Monday morning in Martinez, an Augusta suburb. Johnson was “following too closely” when he […]

Cancer Does What Years Of Idiocy And Self-Abuse Couldn’t. Farewell, Rob Ford Once more, for old time’s sake. I’ve never bought into the idea that when a person dies, every shitty thing he ever did in his life dies with him, so I’m not going to sit here and write a whole bunch about Rob Ford and how he just lost his courageous battle with cancer […]

I’ll Give You Your Cocks Back If You’ll Give Me Your…

So. Um. This is a thing that happened in Kentucky. According to the arrest warrant deputies served on Rodney Brown, 25, the crime started with the theft of 25 roosters, a goat, some rooster pens, and some other equipment used to keep those roosters. Police say Brown took them from the victim’s home December 21. […]

Listen. It’s Early. I Can’t Think Of Anything Better Than Urine Trouble Now

Am I weird, or do the rest of you see a story like this where some nutty person dumps her kid on some strangers while drunkenly proclaiming that she doesn’t want it anymore and think to yourselves way to go little buddy, you get a do over!? Jennifer Cael, 34, left her child with strangers […]