The Eyebrow’s Connected To The Breast Bone And Other Lessons From Friendly Dr. Newman

Since I posted last, I did some more looking around to see if there was anything else important about Dr. David Newman that might be worth including. I’d have done that during the writing process like I generally do, but Firefox was bound and determined that it was going to crash and try to take the rest of the system with it, so I gave up and just went with what I had so I wouldn’t lose everything. But as you can probably tell based on the fact that we’re talking about him again, I found something. Boy, did I ever find something.

Although the case we covered seems to be his worst infraction, it’s far from his only one. In fact, he’s accused of doing inappropriate things to four patients during their ER visits.

The other three women — all 18 to 21 years old — were treated by Dr. Newman in the pediatric area of the emergency room. The prosecutor said there was evidence that he had touched one woman’s breasts while treating her for a cold. He is accused of doing the same to a woman who had complained of a rash on her eyebrows and to another who had complained of a headache after taking a pregnancy test.

Admittedly, I’m not as familiar as maybe I ought to be with what they do to you when you walk into an emergency room and say you might be pregnant. And the woman with the cold, maybe the good doctor’s hands slipped whilst applying some VapoRub. But what I do know or at least what I thought I knew is that the eyebrows are nowhere near the booble region, not even when you’ve had a seriously bad day and your head is hanging super low.

In any event, Newman denies those accusations. He also has an explanation for why his DNA was found on that one woman’s cheek and it’s just…ewww.

According to court documents, Dr. Newman told a detective that he had masturbated in a lounge before he treated the patient with shoulder pain and that his semen may have been transferred to her face during the examination.

He also told the detective, who interviewed him in his Montclair, N.J., home on Jan. 12, that he had given the patient a second dose of morphine. He attributed that decision to “some confusion amongst the nurses regarding the morphine.”

I’m no pervert, officer. I’m just unhygienic and incompetent.

As a result of the investigation, Newman has been fired from the hospital and is presently being tried on charges of first-degree sexual abuse (one count) and third-degree sexual abuse (four counts). He’s also being sued for unspecified damages by the woman who says his guilt was written all over her face.

In an odd and somewhat unfortunate twist of fate, that woman’s name is also Newman. No, they’re not related, thank the sweet merciful baby Jesus Christ.

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1 Comment

  1. As far as I know at least here, pregnancy test involves peeing in a cup and having blood taken. That’s it. So I have no idea why a head ache would have been a thing but ehw… Just ehw…

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