You Might Feel A Small Prick In Your Mouth

Right now I’m in the market for a dentist with an office closer to where I live than my current one because it’s getting to be a pain in the ass to have to go out of town every time, but maybe it’s not such a big deal. I’ve been going there for as long as I can remember. They know me. I know them. We trust each other. Perhaps I should just accept those day trips as a fact of life and suck it up. Wait…perhaps that was a poor choice of words, and perhaps my reconsidering the dentist search is just a temporary thing that’ll go away once I have a chance to forget about this.

Bilal Ahmed of Rockville, Md. was in Superior Court of the District of Columbia Thursday on a charge of first-degree sexual abuse of a patient or client after he allegedly forced the patient to perform oral sex during the procedure. 
On May 22, 2014, the documents say the patient was at Ahmed’s dental practice, Universal Smiles, at 2311 M Street after complaining that he chipped a tooth while eating. During his visit, Ahmed told the patient that he would have to remove the tooth. The patient then insisted on Nitrous Oxide being used and Ahmed, 43, told him that his insurance did not cover the use of the gas and he would have to cover the cost himself, according to the documents. 
The patient told investigators that when he received the gas a male dental assistant was present in the room, the documents say. 
The patient later woke up and noticed that his mask was partially off his face and described feeling something in his mouth, the documents said. He then noticed Ahmed’s penis was in his mouth, according to the documents. 
Ahmed then escorted the patient to the recovery room and the patient left Ahmed’s office two hours latter, charging documents say.

There’s something funny about the name Universal Smiles. Just me?

Anyway, for reasons unexplained (He wanted to see about a second date?), Ahmed is said to have called the unnamed patient several times following the incident. During one of the calls which was recorded by police, Ahmed reportedly admitted guilt, telling him that he was not crazy and not hallucinating.

Creepy.

After the hearing, Ahmed was released under what was described as “high-intensity supervision” pending his next court appearance.

I don’t know how to end this, so I’m just going to go not look for a dentist a little more.

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2 comments
  1. Ah come on Steve. We all know you love a little gargle party at the dentist. I mean, if you’re willing to gargle on your own savior, a harmless old dentist should be easy as creampie.

    1. Does the savior work on teeth? If he does we might have just solved 2 problems at once.

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