Department Of Masturbating Vigorously

And now, your semi-regular reminder to stay off the drugs. Responding to 911 calls about a pair of “white males running around the lot taking off their clothes,” Warren City Police Department cops Friday morning encountered Timothy Cook, 32, who reportedly had been “growling and punching the cement.” Cook, a witness told officers, had entered […]

Who’s Goin’ Dumbass Huntin’? Cops Is Goin’ Dumbass Huntin’!

In case the title makes no sense to you… The festival in question is the Gathering of the Juggalos, so the ICP reference seemed appropriate. In some ways, I’m sure selling drugs at a music festival is harder than it sounds. It’s loud, for a start. A lot of attendees are paying you no mind […]

Someone May Be Going To Jail, But I Doubt It’s The Kid. Not Yet, At Least

It’s been a while, but another person has landed in some trouble for gettin’ their Roger Stephens on. This time it’s 71-year-old Beverly Ann Hardy, who now faces a felony charge of assault on a minor thanks to some unruly punk. According to court records, Darla Edwards called police shortly before 11 a.m. to report […]

Gee Guys, What Do You Want To Do Tonight? The Same Thing We Do Every Night, Walk Naked In The Parking Lot

But for one detail, this would be little more than your standard ambling exhibitionist news item. The strange call came in to police just before 10 p.m. last night. The caller reported seeing a naked man strolling in a parking lot near Milner Avenue and Morningside Avenue,  police say. However, before police could arrive, the man got […]