Everyone Enjoy Their Long Weekend Baseball. Not You, Jays Fans. We Hate You, Remember?

So hey, MLB released the 2017 schedule yesterday. Maybe that’ll be a nice break from thinking about 2016, specifically September, a month that has seen the Blue Jays go from leading the American League East to third place in it in the span of 15 days. That’s bad, in case you were wondering. Not so bad that I’m in a blind panic like three quarters of Twitter and most of the callers on Jays talk, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t getting a little uneasy over here. They’re still 13 games over .500 and recent results aside this is a damn good baseball team, but come on, guys. You can only shit the bed so much before the sheets give up. Let’s get it together.

So about this schedule. Surely it has to be better than what’s going on here in the present, right? As I read, I will be able to put the here and now out of my head and dream of all the beautiful summer holiday weekend baseball that is to come thanks to the love of the schedule gods, yes? Um, no. Resounding no.

Maybe it’s all in my head, but I feel like the years that have passed since I used to write about this all the time had gotten better. If they have, this year somebody at Major League Baseball clearly noticed all the contented Canadians and decided to put a stop to it. Seriously, just look at this.

Victoria Day? An off day. An off day during a road trip, no less. So even if you wanted to spend one of the parts of your long weekend that isn’t holiday Monday down at the Dome, you can’t, because baseball hates you.

Canada Day? If you want to get technical about it, we do get a home game on July 1st. It’s even against Boston, so it’s kind of important. But Canada Day is on a Saturday this year, which means the holiday part falls on a Monday when the Jays are, you guessed it, on the road. At least they’re only on the road to New York, which means the game is divisionally important and has a sporting chance of starting at a not ridiculous hour.

Random Day Off In August? The Jays get a day off, too. Yes, because baseball hates you, you stupid Jays fan.

Labour Day? The Jays are in Boston. That one doesn’t bother me because Labour Day is everyone’s holiday and somebody’s got to be the road team, but as I’ve said before and will say again now, there’s no excuse for any of this other garbage. These are Canadian holidays. Let us have our team on them, for Christ’s sake!

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