We’re About To Live In A World Where Vin Scully Isn’t Calling Baseball Games And I’m Not Sure I’m Ready For It

Growing up, I knew of Vin Scully, but I didn’t really know of Vin Scully. I would here his voice sometimes doing the calls on history videos and I was pretty sure he was the guy from Los Angeles, but that was about it. I live nowhere close to California so picking him up on …

Wait! Where’s Everybody Going? Come Back! It Says “Muslims Get Out,” Not “Customers Get Out!”

If you’re so determined to make a statement, at least shit out the effort required to find a big enough sign to accommodate it. Christ, what a moron. A Minnesota business owner who wrote “Muslims get out” on the sign outside his restaurant has defended the move, claiming that people were taking the sign “in the …

There’s Gold In Them Thar Holes

The story of Leston Lawrence, the former Royal Canadian Mint employee accused of pocketing nearly $180,000 by keistering gold pucks has been all over the news today. But in all the coverage, one fact, albeit quite a childish one, seems to have flown under the radar. Lawrence’s trial, on charges that include theft, laundering the …

Hey Officer, Check Out My Baton

I’m not even sure where to start with this, so I’m just going to lay out what we have here. We have a fellow who admitted that on at least two occasions, he exposed himself to municipal bus drivers in Seattle. As a result of this admission and the conviction on two counts of indecent …

“Here, Let Me Hold The Door For You.” “Here, Let Me Hold You Without Bail.”

I think I just figured out why people can be such pricks sometimes. You see, they’ve all learned from the case of Kayvon Mavaddat that any nice act, no matter how simple, just ain’t worth the risk of being arrested on a pile of outstanding warrants. Or maybe people are just pricks because they’re pricks. …

Peter Mansbridge Will Be Leaving The National Next Year

I know this is kind of old news now, but I’m noting it anyway because seriously, Peter Mansbridge no longer hosting The National as of this coming July is a pretty big deal. Based on a lot of what I’ve read and heard this is going to be one of those retirements where you don’t …

“Here, Have Some Pork Chops.” “Here, Have A Punch In The Chops.”

It’s hard to sort out exactly what happened here in large part because police describe half the problem as “intoxicated” and the other half as “extremely intoxicated” to the point that it wasn’t able to finish giving a statement, but what seems clear is that William Welch and his wife got into a dust-up over …

With A Corncob Pipe And A…Well, Just A Corncob Pipe, Really

I don’t know why, but apparently Jeffrey Osella and his unidentified neighbour aren’t on the best of terms. Haven’t been for 13 years, it says here. Anyway, the other night the two got into a shouting match over something or other as happens now and then, and Mr. Osella found himself not content with merely …