If Convicted, She Plans To Apeel

Even after reading three different versions of it, I’m still not quite sure what to make of this.

I don’t know if this woman was drunk, high or acting any other sort of odd beyond the bit where she decided that the nice officer wouldn’t mind if she nicked a few of his fries, but what I do know is that although I’m sure somebody somewhere will use this wee little story as an example of abuses of power in the ranks of law enforcement, if I’m ever sitting at a restaurant happily eating my lunch when suddenly a stranger waltzes up to help herself to whatever’s on my plate and I have the authority to arrest her, I’m about as certain as it gets that I’m doing so.

I also know that this woman, who’s name hasn’t been published, was charged with second degree theft for taking, as the report states, “French Fried Potato . . . quantity 3.”

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