J…I Say J A…


So…this is a thing that happened. Yes, in Florida.

Police say James Dizney Fields, 58, of Port St. Lucie wore a mop on his head like a mask while banging on a neighbor’s door on Jan. 13, according to a TCPalm.com report.
According to a police report, when the neighbor opened the door, he saw the mop-adorned Fields and couldn’t understand him, so he closed and locked the door. Fields continued his door-knocking antics and added in some doorbell ringing with the end of mop.
The neighbor identified Fields as the man who “terrified his entire family,” police said.

When asked just what in the king hell he thought he was doing, Fields told police that he was short on eggs, needed some to make a cake and was hoping somebody would hook a guy up, but stopped short of explaining how the mop fit into the equation.

Police were happy to hook him up…with a charge of disturbing the peace. At last report he was still in jail on $9,000 bail. if that seems a little excessive, don’t worry, it’s not all for that. It seems he still had some unresolved charges from an earlier incident unrelated to cleaning implements, chicken abortions or the culinary arts. Surprising, I know.

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