Chatham-Kent’s Top 10 Silliest Police Calls Of 2016

Going through some old news stories and found this list of the top 10 silliest calls received by Chatham-Kent police in 2016. I had no idea the place was so weird.

  • 10. Police were called and asked about deliveries of the London Free Press to specific neighbourhoods.
  • 9. A caller told Emergency Communication his wife’s purse had been stolen, but the call taker did not write down the word ‘purse.’ Police said this caused “a lot of concern” for those who read it and believed the man’s wife had been stolen over an hour ago.
  • 8. A man used social media to send police a picture of a thermostat and asked if they could help regulate the temperature in his apartment.
  • 7. A woman called 911 in distress because her cable TV was showing French programs and she was not French.
  • 6. Police were called to a home to settle a dispute between neighbours about who owned a jar of peanut butter.
  • 5. A 911 dispatcher was called and asked whether they could provide the phone number of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
  • 4. A woman called Chatham-Kent police to ask if it was legal for her to catch squirrels in her backyard and bring them to a nearby farmer’s field.
  • 3. A thief broke into his neighbour’s apartment only to find him standing there holding a baseball bat. While fleeing the man lost a boot, but later sent his girlfriend back to retrieve it.
  • 2. While pursuing a man following a commercial break and enter officers observed him tossing pink urinal cakes. Police said the man later explained he used the urinal cakes to play hockey.
  • 1. Friends became concerned when a woman in Chatham posted “He’s trying to kill me,” on Facebook. When they couldn’t get ahold of her they asked police to check in on her. The woman was found to be fine, but a bit embarrassed. “She explained to the officers that she posted ‘he’s trying to kill me,’ in reference to the toxic gas in the room after her husband passed gas,” wrote Chatham-Kent police.

You’re not convincing me that number two shouldn’t be number one, no way no how. Number three probably should have beaten it too. But no matter how you’d rank things, I think we can all agree that a nice effort was put forth by the citizenry this year.

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3 comments
  1. Or maybe I did know the place was weird. I totally forgot that I posted one of these lists a few years ago.

  2. Oh no. You might have posted “She’s trying to kill me” back in late 2014 for the same reason. That could have been bad.

    1. Perhaps, but had I done so I’d have made sure to do my best to be clear I was kidding for this very reason. Plus we don’t need a lawsuit when the cops show up not knowing they need hazmat gear. Ha!

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