It’s Me, Grandma. The Ghost Of Dumbshit Present

There are a lot of better ones, but on the surface at least, sending a fake obituary to the newspaper to throw the police off your trail maybe isn’t the absolute dirt worst idea in the world. but if you’re going to do that, you’re going to need to leave a contact number because the paper is going to want to confirm things before they run it. And if you’re going to need to leave a contact number, you’re going to want to let the person who owns that number know that you’re dead so that when the call comes, they can give the right answer.

The Beaver County Times reports that an obituary for 21-year-old Anastasia Kline was submitted to The Times via email Wednesday night. The obituary, which was sent from an email address containing Kline’s full name, claimed she died “unexpectedly” on Tuesday afternoon.

The obituary included Kline’s grandmother’s phone number for contact information, and when The Times reached out, her grandmother said Kline was not dead. The Times also reached out to local coroner’s and medical examiner’s offices and were unable to verify Kline’s death.

The list of offenses she’s wanted for includes theft, passing bad checks and forgery. If she was as detail-oriented with all that as she was here, it’s no mystery why the cops are on to her.

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