I’ve Been Shavin’ On The Railroad, Slicin’ Pubes Away. I’ve Been Shavin’ On The Railroad, Even Though I Didn’t Pay

No disrespect to any of you who might be so inclined, but shaving your pubes with a kitchen knife sounds a little weird to me. But even if I can accept that this sort of grooming might be a thing, are there not better places to engage in such a pastime than a train bathroom? For heaven’s sake, it’s difficult enough just to take a simple leak in there without causing some sort of disaster.

A train conductor on a high-speed ICE train began to feel suspicious about a 22-year-old man who was spending a particularly long time in the toilet, a federal police spokeswoman told Spiegel Online on Tuesday.
She decided to open the door, only to find the bewildered man “as God had created him”. Not only was the 22-year-old naked, he was also holding a kitchen knife – causing the conductor great alarm.
The conductor then alerted the federal police, who are responsible for overseeing train stations. The officers arrived to find the man in the toilet “stark naked” and shaving his pubic hair with the knife, according to Focus magazine.

And worst of all, he hadn’t even bought a ticket.

No charges were filed since the law does not stipulate what one cannot do to one’s own junk with one’s own utensils, but he was ordered off the train at the next station because it does say that one mustn’t be in places requiring payment unless one has indeed paid for the privilege at the appointed time.

So how did it come to be that police and train staff found him here, manscaping and thieving railroad services? I know I was wondering. According to police, he told them that he was feeling “unwelcome” at home, which meant a bathroom was currently unavailable.

Alrighty.

But why, of all the lavatories in the land (many of them freely available), did he choose this one? We don’t know. And you know what? Maybe that’s for the best.

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