Hey, Ocifer? How’s About I Whoop Your Thumb And We Forget This Whole Thing?

It’s 6 A.M. on a Sunday morning and you’re fast asleep. In your car. While it’s running. In an intersection. Holding up an ambulance. Which calls the police. Who cannot wake you up. Even when they park right next to you and crank on the lights and siren. You only awaken when a tow truck driver breaks in. You are not a passenger. You take a breath test. You blow a .236. You only needed a .08 to be considered legally drunk.

For many of us, this might be the moment when we decide you know, drinking isn’t fun anymore. But for Paul Perry Jr., it wasn’t that at all. Instead, it was time for some high-stakes thumb-wrestling.

Reports said a man who was so drunk early Sunday morning he challenged police to thumb wrestle, with the proviso that if he won, impaired-driving charges against him would be dropped.

Perry’s girlfriend came to pick him up and when she did, Perry challenged officer Seann Carfolo several times to the thumb-wrestling contest. Reports said, “Perry was advised officers would not thumb wrestle him.”

The police may not be fans of good old fashioned competition (Who wants to be the one to get schooled in a thumb-wrestling match by a dude who can’t even stay awake at a red light, am I right?), but they were more than happy to slap him with that drunk driving charge and possibly more considering his license had already been suspended multiple times.

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