We use this one a lot, but appropriate is appropriate, soooo…
Though it’s doubtful you would need one, if ever should come a day when screwing up a jewelry store robbery really, really badly becomes necessary, I present to you this handy guide courtesy of Colin Ayers and Mervin Chong.
- Make sure that it’s 9:30 in the morning so that people are everywhere.
- Dress yourselves in dark coats, hoodies, balaclavas and masks.
- Use a moped as your vehicle of choice.
- Don’t wear helmets like you’re supposed to though. You have enough stuff on your head that they wouldn’t fit anyway, but this makes sure that you’re just a little bit more noticeable.
- Ensure that at least one of you is riding around on that moped looking like a helmetless robber while also trying to hide a pick axe between his knees.
- Circle the place a few times, because people crammed onto a moped dressed like that with no ill intentions do that sort of thing every day.
- When suspicions get the better of those people that are everywhere and they call you in, drive into the nearest pole while trying to get away from the newly arrived police.
- When you abandon the freshly crashed moped and make a run for it, bolt straight into one of the nice officers.
- And just to make sure that no doubt exists about who is responsible for everything, do not, under any circumstances, remove any of the pictures you took of the store from your phone.
Each has been jailed for two years after pleading guilty to charges of conspiracy to commit burglary, but Ayers was also given a bonus month for breaching bail after deciding that his sentencing hearing did not require his presence.