The Handicapped Can


The nice fellow on the radio said that coming up he would have a song that would stick in our heads all day. That song, as you can see above, was The Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr.

He is correct. That song is going to stick in my and Carin’s heads all day, but not for the reason he thinks. That’s because neither of us will ever be able to hear it again without singing the Bob Rivers version. That link should start playing a beautiful song a few seconds after you click it.

If you need some lyrics, they’re here as well as quoted below since some of the ads on that site, while not appearing to be malicious, are slowing down even my nice computer and I’m not making the rest of you deal with that just to read a song.

Handicap
Hey handicap

“All right my little children, gather round those groovy handicapped are here.
So tell me babe, so what kind of handicap do you have?”
“Well I had a motorcycle but it cost me an arm and a leg.”
“I can see that. Pretty groovy appliance. I bet the ladies dig it, hey babe?”

Who goes in the bathroom
Grabs the biggest stall
A handy metal railing
So they don’t slip in the bowl
The handicapped
The handicapped
The handicapped can
They handicapped can
‘Cause they got a special sticker
Makes them better than you
Makes us better than you
The handicapped park
Anywhere they want
Takin’ up the closest spaces
Zoomin’ in their wheelchair races
Spittle drippin’ down their faces
Yeah yeah yeah
Zippin’ through the crosswalk
On a motorized machine
Winning groovy medals
On their own Olympic team
The handicapped
The handicapped
Oh the handicapped can
The handicapped can
‘Cause they’re pals of Jerry Lewis
And the telethon crew
The handicapped can
‘Cause they are very special people
And they’re just like you
With some assholes too
“We are the handicapped babe, and we are groovy, know what I am saying? People love to take us shopping at Christmastime, ’cause we park so close to the mall.”

The handicapped
The handicapped

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