Dear Impact Wrestling:

I’m going to be as nice about this as I can, because in spite of everything you’ve done in the last 15 years to ensure that you don’t, I’ve always wanted you to do well. I’m a strong proponent of competition in every industry, and for that reason alone I’d prefer that you survive and thrive.

But lately you’ve really started testing that viewpoint.

All these years, you’ve always been something. Whether it was hope for an alternative to WWE, a platform for talented people who would never get a chance anywhere else to have great matches that might actually be seen by somebody, some of the worst television to which I have ever subjected myself, the little engine that could if only a few chips would fall just right, a place where guys could go for a second chance or to learn or to prolong their careers because the schedule was easier, for better or worse, there was a reason to pay attention to you. That reason too often tended to be the same one that makes us unable to look away from violent accidents, but it was still a reason.

But now? You’re just boring. No, I don’t mean behind the scenes. You’ve never been dull in that department, though I confess even that’s starting to grow tiresome. I’m talking about the product. Yes, you have an enjoyable roster (at least what’s left of it). Yes, sometimes your shows aren’t bad. but every week, even after the decent ones, I find myself asking what’s the point of this? Why am I watching it? And increasingly I have no good answers to those questions other than because it’s wrestling. When I watch Impact, I feel like I’m watching people put on a wrestling show because they have to instead of because they want to. Nothing feels inspired. Nothing ever really leads anywhere. Nothing feels fresh or exciting or must see. You just exist out of a sense of contractual obligation and because you refuse to die.

But maybe you should die. Yes,I said it. Maybe before you get the chance to cost anyone else multiple millions more dollars and completely ruin the Fight Network in the process, perhaps it’s time to book your ticket to the big ring in the sky.

I understand this isn’t easy to process. The world needs TNA, after all. And you know what? Maybe it does. But it sure as shit doesn’t need this boring ass middle of the road no reason to pay attention to it version of TNA that still acts like it’s a major national promotion even though it routinely gets out-drawn and out-qualitied by companies that have a 10th the budget if they’re lucky. I know Anthem wants to fix you, but I fear it’s too late. You’ve finally hit that point, Impact. You’ve done too much damage to yourself. No rebranding is going to turn this thing around (not that you could pull one off even if it could). It’s time to give up.

You might be wondering what the last straw was. Why have I, one of your last friends in the world, forsaken you?

Well, You saw your last couple months of shows, didn’t you? Of course you did, you’re Impact. You cobbled them together from other people’s old footage, amounts of filler that would almost make WWE jealous and a few segments taped in front of some seriously dead crowds in your own building and still had the nerve to charge $50 Canadian for Bound For Glory. The moment I saw that, I knew. You’ve never done well at accepting reality. You’ve never been content being what you are. You always wanted to be something more, but rather than figuring out how to become that you just covered your ears and pretended you were already there. And I realize now that it doesn’t matter who’s in charge. You’re never going to change, because you’ve never had to. If there’s one thing you are good at it’s making smart people do stupid things seemingly without limit or exception so that for you, change is unnecessary. And yes, I put myself in that category. There’s no way in hell I’m paying that price for your damn PPV, but I’m not going to abandon you outright even though I should. How can I? We’ve been through a lot. It’s hard to just let go. Plus I’m not giving up the Fight Network, so I’ll always be supporting you by default until they pass you on to the next poor sap who thinks he can make a go of it or you kill them.

I know you’re not going to listen to me. You’re Impact. You don’t listen to anyone unless they’re saying nice things or look gullible and are carrying a big cheque. But I really do want what’s best for you and for everyone around you and I hope that you’ll at least think about it. Then again if you were much better at thinking than you are at listening we’d likely not be having this conversation, so maybe I’m just wasting my time. But at least I’ve still got that 50 bucks in my pocket, so I guess there’s that.

Good talk,
Steve

(Visited 1 times, 15 visits today)

There are no comments

Your email address will not be published.