Hang On, Man. I’m About To Catch A Train


If I live another hundred years, I will still never understand how it is that a person can get himself so distracted that he fails to notice something the size of, the sound of and the feel of a fucking train.

People often try when we publish one of these stories, but there is literally no way to make a valid excuse for this. I don’t want to hear later that he doesn’t see well or that he doesn’t hear well. That only makes things worse because when you’re at a disadvantage, you need to use everything you do have to its fullest. And besides, it’s a train. They should be impossible to miss. Pay the fuck attention. It’s not rocket science. Its not even engineering. Yes, I did that on purpose. You may have even chuckled at it, assuming you weren’t distracted by something shiny.

The man was riding his bike east on a West Steele Lane sidewalk as the southbound train approached, lowering the gate at the rail crossing and activating warning bells and lights, said Lynnette Cowsert, who witnessed the 3:55 p.m. accident.

“The (gates) were down, and I thought he was going to stop,” said Cowsert, who was stopped at the crossing. “Ding, ding, ding, and I hear the train. And the next thing I see is him rolling under the train, and his bicycle is under the front of the train.”
The man was wearing earphones and talking on his cellphone, and apparently did not notice the oncoming train or the lowered gates, police said in a statement. He was thrown 20 to 30 feet across West Steele Lane, police said. His bicycle was lodged under the right front train wheel.
Cowsert said the cyclist did not appear to be wearing a helmet.

Of course he wasn’t, not that it would have been covering anything of much value.

The unidentified 19-year-old was taken to hospital with injuries that were described as “not immediately life-threatening,” which I believe means “keep it up, idiot” in we have to be as nice as possible while writing this statement language.

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