Desperate Cheeto


Just when I was starting to feel like maybe we were running out of clever ways to make “hahaha Donald Trump is orange” jokes, along comes Randy Rainbow to do that and then some with this parody of a little known song that you’ve probably never heard because radio and clubs won’t touch it.

Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a full set of lyrics, but if/when I do I’ll be sure to add them.

***Note from Carin*** I have tried to transcribe them. I may have made a few errors***

Welcome back. I’m here with my old friend, Donald Trump. The president! Still? *sigh* Ok.

You’ve had a rough week…for about a year now. Why don’t we start with the most recent natural disasters.
(Trump says “hurricanes.”)
Actually I was talking about your breath and your hair.

(Trump says “We started with texas and Louisiana. Don’t forget Louisiana got hit hard, and I went to Texas, and I went to Louisiana…and met the people, and I think it helped, and we got very high marks, we got a pluses.”)
Good boy!
(Trump says “And the following week Porto Rico got hit, and if you remember, it went in and out, in and out 3 times.”)
Wow…well, let’s not get into your sexlife just yet. Let’s first talk about all the negative press you received when you returned from your trip to Puerto Rico.
(Trump says “I will say this. It’s fake news. There’s nothing else you can say about it. You know, one example. They had these beautiful, soft towels, very good towels. And I came in, and there was a crowd of a lot of people and they were screaming and they were loving everything, and I was having fun, they were having fun, and they were saying ‘Throw ’em to me, throw ’em to me Mr. President,’ and so I’m doing it and…”)

Screwing it up since the election
Completely devoid of introspection, yeah.
You’re more abnormal than your pumpkin-like complexion.

You are as artificial as your own toupee, you’re offensive in every way,
think you’re pretty special but you’re just a phony.

Puerto rico, Charlottesville and kimmy jong.
Can’t keep track of all the times that you’ve been wrong,
and will this country still be here at the end of your four years?
Baby I don’t know if you’ll last that long
(Trump says “right.”)

How can we have chosen such a mental case?
Every day you devastate the human race.
america, good luck, so long and Sayounara, Bye-bye.

I mean no disrespect but you’re a big disgrace,
and what is all the orange stuff that’s on your face?
Maybe you should finally just admit you are a…

desperate chito.
Upsetting everyone you meet o,
Reprimanding Puerto Rico,
throwingpaper products at the people.

Desperate chito,
getting worse with every stupid tweet o
Why ya always talkin’ like you’re from the street yo?
Go to your account and please just hit delete o.
(Trump says “right.”)

You’re the colour of the sign outside the store that says Home Depot.
You’re a grabby bragadocious creepo,
and you’re in over your head so deep o.
(Trump says “get that son of a bleep off the field.”

Every time you open up your mouth, the censors have to bleep o.
You even hate on freakin’ Meryl Streep o,
and you’re the reason that we cannot sleep o.
(Trump says “It’s fake news.”)

You’re so hopped up on your megalomania.
I feel bad for Melania.
The truth is right in front of ya.
Stop smoking marijuania!
The words that come out of your mouth make you sound like a dumb dumb.
Just stop saying words that make you sound like such a dumb dumb!
On foreign matters, you’re an inofficient novice.
Get out get out, get out, please get out of the oval office!
It turns out your morality is lower than your jowels,
not tomention, here, have some paper towels.

(Trump says “We are also praying for the people of… Puerto…Rico. We love…Puerto…Rico! Puerto…Rico,…”
Audience member: “We love you!”…
Trump: “…and we also love porto rico.”)

Desperate chito,
always caught up in a web of deceit o,
always pretending that you’re not elite o,
always look like you’re about to trick or treat o.

Desperate chito.
You’re hair’s a mess, your face is always beet o.
Why ya pickin’ on the poor athlete o?
Why ya acting like you’re on a tv show?
(Trump says “FIRED!”)

You’re the color of the sign outside the store that says home depot.
You’re a crabby unproductive creepo,
and you’re in over your head too deep o.
(Trump says “Get that son of a bleep off the field.”)

Every time you give a bleeping speech the censors have to bleep o,
your spray tan looks so muy cheapo,
and you’re the reason that we cannot sleep o.
(Trump says “It’s fake news.”)

Desperate chito,
getting worse with every single stupid tweet o,
don’t know why your hands are so petite o.
You’re upsetting everyone you meet o.
Desperate chito!
(Trump says “very good towels.”)

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