Something I Hate About Modern Wrestling Interviews

Yes, I know there are a lot of things to hate about many of them, but I’m going to keep it to just one thing that’s bugging me right now after having just watched Smackdown.

Please, wrestlers, stop talking about how good your matches are going to be. As a fan trying to suspend my disbelief and buy into the idea that your job and your ultimate goal in life is to compete in and win a contest, you’re killing it for me. AJ Styles telling Shinsuke Nakamura that at Wrestlemania they’re going to tear the house down together because that’s what they do is the kind of thing that ruins matches for me. I don’t read comics or watch superhero movies, but I doubt Superman ever got Lex Luthor face to face and told him that together they were going to give everyone at home the most action-packed, exciting film they had ever seen. Why? Because it would ruin the illusion, and ruining the illusion is dumb.

If you want to talk about how you’re going to beat a guy’s ass all over the arena, cool. How he’s going to be a tough opponent and you know you’re in for the fight of your life, great. How he’s good but you’re better and you’re going to prove it, fantastic. But for Christ’s sake, don’t make it sound like you’re cooperating to put on a stunt show. Saying that you have the best match on the card every night and that makes you great is fan talk. It’s reserved for guys like me who pay money to watch guys like you. When you’re off camera or doing a shoot interview, by all means, judge the shit out of everyone’s matches. But giving your matches star ratings in character is insulting to guys like me. You’re standing in front of me yelling “THIS IS FAKE!” at the top of your lungs, essentially. Nobody wants to hear that. Don’t do it.

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