I’m Sure There Must Be Worse Baseball Songs, But Marlins Will Soar Is Way Up There

Oh my sweet Jesus in heaven, what in the hell is this and how has it escaped me for eight years? And perhaps more importantly, how do I unhear it and get it to go away again?

Woof. That sure is a lot of awful to cram into a minute and 47 seconds. But at the same time, you cannot argue that it is anything but a tune befitting a bad team with even worse ownership. A team such as the Miami Marlins, in whose name it was written back in 2010.

Yes, that is in fact Scott Stapp A.K.A. that Creed guy word vomiting random baseball related syllables over a backing track he likely wrote in 1998. I don’t know if he was paid actual money for it (it seems likely considering the Marlins history of great business decisions), but it does appear that he was compensated in the form of free tickets for life and the ability for his kids to be bat boys whenever they wanted. That’s nice for the kids I guess, but why does this damn team hate the rest of us so much?

Let’s play ball, it’s game day
We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays
Take the field, hear the roar of the crowd
Come on Marlins, make us proud
Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and love, you will soar
One strike, two strikes, swing away
A diving catch, a stolen base
A perfect game, a triple play
Another play-off race—YES!
World Series chance we’ll [unintelligible scream]

I think it’s “World Series champs you’ll be,” but “unintelligible scream” sums the team up much better, so let’s just go with that.

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