Bottle Of Wine, Fruit Of The Vine. Who Am I Gonna Have To Run Over

You know how it is. It’s morning, you’re hammered, and gosh darn it, you’re plumb out of refreshments. What to do…what to do? You could call it a night, of course. How are you going to do it all again this afternoon if you don’t sleep now, right? But if you feel you absolutely must …

One More Person Who Isn’t Happy When John Cena’s Music Plays

I’m not sure how common these sorts of prank calls still are on American radio, but here in Canada, at least anywhere I’ve had a chance to listen, they pretty much don’t exist anymore. I don’t know if it’s some sort of legal thing or down simply to the fact that most radio is uninspired …

Turns Out The Old Saying About Bringing A Knife To A Gunfight Is Probably True

I’m not a big fan of guns in general. Unless you’re planning to shoot something for the purposes of eating it or protecting something that’s going to be eaten later, I don’t feel like there are many good reasons for needing one. But that’s not to say that they absolutely never have a purpose. Now …

What’s That, Lassie? You Can Speak English Now?

I read about the idea of a pet translator, and although it’s in primitive stages, I got a little bit excited. Maybe, finally, this could be what I have been wishing for in this old post. Maybe this would allow me to ask my guide dog why she’s having trouble, or if anything hurts, or …

The English Language Used To Be Even More Complicated

Did you know that the alphabet used to contain at least ten more letters than it does now? Me neither. I knew about the long S although my brain started to short circuit a bit when he got into explaining its usage rules, but the rest of these were new to me. And try as …

What’s The Password

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks the bartender what the WiFi password is. “You gotta buy a drink first,” says the bartender. “Okay” says the guy, “I’ll have a martini.” Time passes, and one martini has turned into three before he finally asks for the password again. The bartender says, “yougottabuyadrinkfirst, …