Safety First

Whether Floridians behave like meth users or meth users behave like Floridians will probably always remain a mystery, but of one thing we can definitely be certain: the ones that make the news most often aren’t going to be the best or the brightest. They may, if 49-year-old Douglas Kelly has his way about it, be the most safety conscious, though.

Kelly, from Hawthorne, called the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday to say that he had bought what he thought was methamphetamine; but, after smoking it and having a “violent reaction,” he suspected that he had been given the wrong substance — and he wanted to press charges against the person who sold it to him, deputies said in a Facebook post.
Detectives told him that they could certainly test the drug for him to ensure it was meth. And, the authorities said, he took them up on it.

“Kelly drove to the sheriff’s office and handed detectives a clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil. The substance field-tested positive for methamphetamine, the drug Kelly intended to purchase.”

He was, of course, arrested and charged with possession of methamphetamine.

There is no word on why he may have had the reaction he did, but because it’s meth, you idiot is likely a safe bet.

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