A Jarring Experience

When Alfonzo Stanley’s daughter made the mistake of eating some of his food, the 50-year-old reacted in the calm, understanding manner in which one would expect a father to react. He brained her with a jar of Doritos Nacho Cheese Dip.

Wait, Doritos makes cheese dip? I didn’t know that.

According to his arrest report, 50-year-old Alfonzo Stanley told police he hit his adult daughter because she was trying to eat his food.
Stanley’s daughter told police she tried to replace the food after her father said it was his, but he attacked her and slammed a glass jar of Doritos Nacho Cheese Dip into the left side of her face, the report said.
When police interviewed the woman at a friend’s apartment in the same complex she was holding a blood-soaked towel against the side of her face and had multiple cuts. The woman was taken to University Medical Center and needed a total of 40 stitches.

When police talked to Stanley, he said that the reason he hit her with the jar is because it was there. Had his cane been the first thing he saw, he told them, he would have hit her with that instead.

Good thing they weren’t near the car.

Stanley was taken into custody and charged with one count of domestic battery resulting in substantial bodily harm.

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