There Are Books…In My Microwave

Teen carries textbooks in microwave to protest school’s backpack ban Two thoughts come to mind as I read this. Good on this kid for standing up for something he feels strongly about and having the courage to question authority. The world needs more like him. He gets extra credit for creativity, too. Who are all …

Best! Inaccessible! Voting! Experience! Ever!

I want to take a second to thank the folks working the polls at the Activa Sportsplex in Kitchener last night for one of the better voting experiences I’ve ever had. None of you were outwardly freaked out by the sight of unaccompanied blind people roaming loose in the wild. None of you tried to …

Cop In An Elevator, Gettin’ It Up While We’re Goin’ Down

Level Plains, Alabama police chief Billy Maurice Driggers has become former Level Plains, Alabama police chief Billy Maurice Driggers after being caught enjoying a trip to Florida a little too much. According to Panama City Beach investigators, officers arrived at Aqua Condominiums on Oct. 2 in response to a complaint about a suspicious person. “Officers …

Assault And Vinegar

What goes better with dip than chips? A South Carolina man turned violent in a dispute over salt-and-vinegar potato chips, authorities said. Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, had warned his 17-year-old cousin not to eat his chips, but when his relative did, Langdale shot him, authorities said Wednesday. “Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” …

A Jarring Experience

When Alfonzo Stanley’s daughter made the mistake of eating some of his food, the 50-year-old reacted in the calm, understanding manner in which one would expect a father to react. He brained her with a jar of Doritos Nacho Cheese Dip. Wait, Doritos makes cheese dip? I didn’t know that. According to his arrest report, …

Where Did That Fifteen Years Go

Instagram Snapchat Twitter Facebook YouTube That is a short and very incomplete list of websites that the Vomit Comet is both older and slightly less popular than. I was going to make a MySpace joke here, but apparently it beat us online by a couple of months and is rumoured to still exist. But yeah. …

Who Are You And What Am I Voting For

Although I obviously care very much about what happens in Kitchener seeing as I live here and whatnot, I’ll freely admit to not always being as up on local politics as I’d like to be. That said, I still intend on voting in the municipal election this month, because not voting in elections is one …

Go To Your Home!

This is perhaps the best baseball meltdown I’ve ever seen. Someone's got a case of the Mondays… #SCNotTop10 @SportsCenter pic.twitter.com/FIhOJyXQbM — Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks (@FMRedHawks) August 7, 2018 Late in a tied ballgame between the Chicago Dogs and the Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks of the American Association of Independent Professional Baseball, umpire Mike Jarboe punched out Metzger on …

Social Security, Maximum Security, What’s The Difference

I didn’t think it was possible, but I do believe I’ve found something even dumber than having your own name tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. That something? Having your Social Security number tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. At least with your name, there’s a chance the police might be thrown off …