They’re Making A List, Checking It Twice, If You’re Not On It Then Go Fly A Kite

It’s strange enough that the santa at our mall hasn’t made a sound in years, but things have somehow gotten even weirder.

At that same mall, for at least the last couple of years, they have been encouraging people to make their Santa Claus visits by appointment.

Start Date: Sat Nov 17, 2018
End Date: Mon Dec 24, 2018
Make your shopping trip a breeze and reserve a time for your little ones to take in the wonder of the jolliest man around. No long lines, no waiting for the moment of magic – simply choose a time that suits your family best and enjoy an extra special Santa experience! Once registered, you can connect with Hadley, your digital shopping assistant. Hadley will keep track of your Santa reservation details, send appointment reminders, help you view holiday promotions and more on your mobile device via Facebook Messenger!
This holiday season, Cadillac Fairview is proud to provide $2 of in-kind support (up to $80,000 maximum in-kind support) from each online registration to national philanthropic partner, WE Charity, towards their goal of inspiring and empowering Canadian youth. 
Hurry! Only a limited number of reservations are available.*
Santa’s workshop will be located in Bay Court.
All visits with Santa are free of charge. Photo package pricing varies.
*walk-ups will be accommodated as time allows. 
Questions? Just text (226) 646-1530.

I realize it’s a mall, but holy hell, has joyously being a kid on Christmas ever sounded this marketed and joyless?

First things first, no, I do not want to download your stupid ad spewing app just to be reminded of my 2:30 with St. Nicholas. No, not even if you’re pulling the charity card. Interesting choice, by the way.

Secondly, if you’ve reached the point where you think you’re either important or busy enough that squeezing in a 2:30 with St. Nicholas is a thing that you must do, it’s time to re-evaluate your priorities. Nobody is that important or that busy. Even though there are certainly more pleasant things to do than try to keep your kids in order in a Santa line, it won’t kill you to maybe have some spontaneous fun with them. In fact, you should do it a time or 12 before they grow up and you get to spend the rest of your life regretting that you never did.

And just to ice this crappy corporate cake, the damn mall is pretty much forcing this on people instead of offering it as an option. “Walk-ups will be accommodated as time allows”? That goes against the whole spirit of the thing! You’re having a fun day out at the mall and oh hey, Santa is here! Let’s go see him! Not anymore. Now it’s a ticketed event. Screw off, kid. And help your mom hook the app to her Facebook while you’re at it.

I’ll be honest, this becoming a trend would make me a little sad. It’s a small thing, but it’s one more thing about everyday life that has to be structured and scheduled and advertised to death until any bit of humanity is nowhere to be found. Even for a holiday that’s kind of built on consumerism, this sets new standards.

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