This is astoundingly stupid. A man chased by Cape Coral police last week was found in his home Monday because he left his driver’s license with an officer. 30-year-old Vincent Parlato’s Ford Mustang was stopped on Santa Barbara Boulevard on Sunday, Feb. 10 after a Cape Coral police officer noticed him driving 60 mph in a 45 […]
Monthly Archives: February 2019
They Hired Me To Deliver Things. They Said Nothing About Leaving Them There
This is definitely one of the dumber thefts I’ve seen in a while. So what if I had to show ID to get in and who cares if there’s quite obviously a camera attached to this house? I’m taking this package. Just try to stop me. Surveillance cameras captured a delivery driver taking an Amazon […]
Please Stop Flushing Your Yorkshire Puddings Down The Toilet, You Barbarians! Sincerely, The Sewer Company
I have so many questions, chief among them how one accumulates enough unwanted Yorkshire puddings to cause this much damage. Is pudding flushing a thing people do now? Is this one person’s terrible hording issue? Is some restaurant somewhere disposing of them on an industrial scale? We're sure even our friends at @YorkshireWater wouldn't welcome […]
Doug Ford May Or May Not Be Trying To Kill Us
I’m willing to take a wait and see attitude about some of the Ford government’s newly announced healthcare reforms. Maybe not all of their ideas are bad. I’m not even all that bent out of shape just yet about the looming specter of more privatization because I feel like there are probably ways to blend […]
If We Want Quality Immigrants, Let’s Maybe Try Not Screwing Them Over
I feel for people like Emilio Carro. He came to this country looking for a better life. He’s been working hard, trying to do the right things. And now, through what appears to be no fault of his own, he’s left hung out to dry by the system. Emilio Carro was just days away from […]
It’s Up, It’s Down, It’s The Vomit Comet
Not sure how many of you this is happening to since it seems to be rather intermittent, but if in the last day or two you’ve gotten some unusual errors or something hasn’t loaded quite right, yes, we do know about it. And unfortunately, as best I can tell, we’re powerless to fix it. All […]
And…That’s One
Hopefully this isn’t the beginning of another list. And why the apparently fake dong? Do those come in the official city of Guelph indecent acts starter kit so you can decide whether the new town hobby is truly for you? On Feb. 19, 2019 between 8 and 8:20 a.m., a 13-year-old female was walking to […]
Light Bulbs, BJs And Republicans
Found these in the inbox today. *Son: Dad, can I have 20 bucks for a blowjob? Dad: I don’t know son, are you any good? *Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? A: I know it’s not six, because my cellar’s still dark. *A college kid’s in a suit […]
Who Actually Watches Trade Deadline Coverage?
Somebody must because all the networks keep doing it, but I’ve never understood it even as a sports fan. I care about what happens, but not once have I ever had even the slightest desire to sit and watch talking heads go on about nothing for hours on end and try to make marginal guy […]
Bill Vastis is gone too soon.
I’ve needed to write this for about a month, but of course I’m behind. You’ll notice I haven’t written the post from Christmas, and that needs to be written too, but this needs to be written first. Late last month, I got the shocking news that Bill Vastis had died. Bill was someone I met […]
