Coming Soon: The Who Has The Coolest Skin Graft Challenge!

Yeah yeah yeah rhetorical question blah blah blah, but what in the fuck is the matter with people?

Hey kids, I’ve got a great idea! How’s about we boil up a big bunch of water, go outside in the freezing cold and then toss it up in the air? And when that’s done, daddy’s gonna pile us all in the ambulance and we’ll head on down to the burn unit! Whatdaya say!?

The “boiling water challenge” consisted of tossing boiling water into the air in the subzero temperatures of last week’s polar vortex. When it worked, the water almost instantly turned into vapor and drifted away from you.

Note that it says “when it worked.” When it didn’t, what a sensible person would expect to happen happened, and hospitals such as the Loyola Medicine Burn Center ended up earning their money because 8 of these numbskulls ranging in age from 3 to 53 had to come in for repairs.

“We strongly warn people to not perform the boiling water challenge,” Loyola burn surgeon Dr. Arthur Sanford said while trying his best not to put his fist/foot/head through something/someone. “There is no safe way to do it,” he then added between anguished sobs for humanity.

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8 Comments

    1. And I wrote it.  I have no memory of writing it, but that’s nothing new.

      I can’t believe I’m old enough to remember when things like that were reasonably safe because the only people doing them were science teachers or people on videos shown to you by science teachers.  Now any idiot thinks he can do anything because he saw some other guy somewhere do it right once.

      1. I’m not surprised you don’t remember, this was right when 2014 was just starting to show its 2014ishness. Your computer was broken, your grandma was kinda broken, my stepgrandpa was almost irreparably broken, the weather knob was broken, it was a bad bad time. I was not yet broken, but I didn’t know how close I was to that fate.

        1. It’s funny.  When you list those things off, I don’t immediately think of them all being in 2014.  My brain has this odd tendency to look at 2014 as being sort of ok until after the second wedding and then all hell breaking loose and not really letting up until mid 2015, but no, that’s totally not how things happened.

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