If this happened to most of us it would be the strangest experience of our lives, but in Florida I bet it’s just Monday.
According to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office probable cause affidavit, Dankner and his mother were in their backyard when he asked her to dress his mannequin. After she refused to do so, Dankner stood in the doorway, blocking her from getting back inside the home, so she pushed the mannequin to the ground, deputies said.
As Dankner moved to pick up the mannequin, his mother ran inside, but Dankner followed her into the kitchen and pushed her to the floor, deputies said.
Dankner then picked up a small stool on the kitchen floor and struck her several times in the head with it, deputies said. He then “grabbed small dumplings made for dinner and started to shove them into her mouth,” the affidavit said.
After his mother told her she couldn’t breathe, Dankner stepped away from her and began throwing items around the kitchen, including a ceramic cup that shattered on the kitchen counter, the affidavit said.
Three things before we continue:
- No, I don’t know why Mikkel Dankner suddenly went from being a him to a her in that snip either. Pretty low rent, WPLG.
- It’s a bit on the line, but I think the use of the dumplings has to qualify this as a food feud.
- It occurs to me that a lot of you might not get the reference in the title, so have this and this:
Mom somehow managed to get away, and a neighbour called 911 when she heard screaming.
Police arrived and arrested Dankner, who they say was combative with them. But he seems so rational. How can that be?
He’s been charged with aggravated battery on a victim 65 or older and domestic battery by strangulation.
She was taken to the hospital where a cut on her head was stitched up.
The fate of the naked ass mannequin was not reported.