Sounds About Right

Catholic Church assures billionaires that none of their Notre Dame donations will go to poor

VATICAN CITY — Speaking to the handful of billionaires, CEO’s, and corporations that had immediately donated billions of dollars to rebuild the burned Notre Dame Cathedral, Pope Francis assured them that none of these funds would be used to help the poor.
Speaking in his chambers before presiding over Easter Sunday Mass, the pontiff assured his donors that not a dime of their money would ever go to feed, clothe, or house the less fortunate. “Rest assured, as the wealthiest church on the face of the planet, we here at the Vatican appreciate your donations. We especially understand your concerns over your hard-inherited money being used to help the destitute.”
“Trust me, we see eye to eye on this matter,” the Pope added with a wink, pointing to the room made of solid gold that he and the various billionaires were gathered in.

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