A Horrible Choice With A Song To Match

Behold the federal Conservative party’s official campaign song.

Awful, isn’t it? And I’m not just saying that because it’s a Conservative song and I’m not a Conservative voter. It really is bad.

You hire Jim Vallance, who helped Bryan Adams write some of his most famous and well loved works, and this is what you get? Dude. If I was a party supporter as it’s claimed he is, I’d at least make it sound like I put in two minutes worth of effort for whatever they’re paying me. Shit, I’d try harder than this for free. Jesus fuck.

The entire thing, as best I can tell, consists of the words “brand new day/a better way/it’s time for you to get ahead. It’s your choice/let’s hear your voice/it’s time for you to get ahead”, some dudes saying “woe o o o” and a girl yelling “yeah yeeeeeaaaaaaah!” now and then set to generic rock music straight out of 1985. Although to be fair, it’s surprisingly modern. I expected them to pick something out of 1895 so it would match most of their values.

The reasoning behind original campaign music is sound, I’ll give them that. Saves them the trouble and embarrassment of being repeatedly told to stop using songs by artists who don’t want to be associated with what they stand for. But lordy lou, fellas. This one isn’t going to inspire anyone under the age of 53 to do much of anything. And anyone older than that is more likely to turn the channel in search of some Buddy Holly or yell at you and your little friends to keep the noise down than actually sing or groove along.

Harrison said the Conservatives have ‘Get Ahead’ blaring in their war room at all hours of the day.
“We all seem to just enjoy it more and more with every play,” Harrison said. “We certainly hope Canadians will feel the same.”

No. Seriously. Nobody can like this song. It’s impossible. And it is not blaring in your war room at all hours. That’s the first blatant lie of the campaign. Even you guys have to know that that would contravene at least one cruel and unusual punishment law.

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