Everybody Needs Good Speakeroos

I like the little song in the Volkswagen commercials. It’s bouncy, it’s catchy, it’s fun to sing along to…especially when you actually know the words.

I wasn’t sure if I was going deaf, there was too much background noise, I always caught it from a distance or some combination of the three, but for a while I was convinced it was saying “Everybody needs some helperoo.”

I don’t want to shock you, but it is definitely not saying that. Whether it should be saying that because “helperoo” is kind of a cool sounding word is a discussion we can have at another time, but until they re-record it to reflect this much needed revision, it’s “Elbow Room.”

But even knowing that, it still sounds like “helperoo” to me. I thought it was just my brain filling it in until recently when I listened to it on my good computer speakers rather than the ones on our old ass TV which is where I usually hear it. On the good speakers it’s absolutely “elbow room,” but on the TV I hear “helperoo” to this day.

We’re still using the TV a friend gave us when those shitheads from Metropolitan Movers busted ours back in 2012, and that thing was old in 2012. I’ve never liked the sound on it. In fact it’s the only TV I’ve ever gotten somebody to help me change the sound profile on, which thankfully we were able to do because it was compressing the shit out of everything so you couldn’t watch anything without it alternating between too quiet and too loud every few seconds.

Where was I going with this? Remind people not to use Metro Movers…Helperoo…Elbow Room…good speakers are important…Does anybody have any recommendations for a new TV? Yeah, let’s land there. We’ve been meaning to replace ours but just haven’t gotten around to it. We don’t want to spend a zillion dollars, we just want a nice, decent-sized living room TV. And if we can avoid it, no Smart TVs unless there’s a compelling reason to go that route. We really don’t need the accessibility hassles, plus I could do without my sketchy viewing habits being sent back to the mothership. Wait, did I say sketchy viewing habits? Because if I did, what I actually meant was my personal and confidential information.

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