Leavin’ With Your Safe In A Little Red Wagon


Another example of police news releases leaving out key details.

On Dec. 3, 2019 at 6:51 a.m., a member of the public observed an adult male and an adult female transporting a safe across the street near the intersection of Fife Road and Whitelaw Road in the City of Guelph with a children’s wagon. Police attended the scene and arrested them. Further investigation revealed that a break-in had just occurred at a residence in the area with multiple items taken including a motor vehicle, jewelry, a laptop, a pellet gun and a safe. All of the stolen property was recovered.

A 35-year-old Ariss male and a 26-year-old Guelph female have been charged with:

  • Possession of stolen property under $5,000
  • Break, enter and commit

They were held in custody for a bail hearing on Dec. 4, 2019.

“Motor vehicle” is hardly a sufficient description given what else we know.

What kind of motor vehicle was it? Was it one large enough to fit a safe into? That one piece of information tells us a lot about the caliber of super genius we may be dealing with in this case. It literally makes all the difference between resourcefulness and stupidity. Ok, most of it.

I also wouldn’t mind knowing if the wagon was stolen, but that’s just me being curious.

This motor vehicle thing, though. It really is important. Please try a little harder, police communications people of the world.

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