Hamilton, ON – After a decades long study, doctors at McMaster University’s Michael G. DeGroote School of Medicine have found that to prevent the spread of bacteria and viruses you should cover your mouth when you cough you disgusting piece of shit.
“Given concerns over diseases like the Coronavirus it is important that you cover your mouth when you cough,” said lead researcher Agnes Xiao. “And apparently you need us to remind you of this because you are a human shit stain with no regard for the health of other people.”
“Yes, even if you are on a crowded subway or bus. Especially then. What the fuck?!” she added.
Despite the study’s findings many patients are refusing to cover their mouth when they cough, until a broader study is released and they somehow develop basic hygiene. Those assholes.
Doctors are also recommending that you thoroughly wash your hands because apparently you weren’t already you fucking fuck. Seriously what’s wrong with you?