I Am The Very Model Of Effective Social Distancing

We’re supposed to call it physical distancing now, but whatever.

I like that change, by the way. It’s a much better description of what’s supposed to be going on. You can be social from a physical distance thanks to all of our old and new technology, and the same people who keep telling us to be socially distant are the same ones telling us to be social with our friends and families so we don’t lose our minds. Physical distancing takes the clumsy messaging out of it.

Here are inexact lyrics to the lovely ditty above, but they’re the best I can find. There’s a line about Trump in there that doesn’t seem to have made it into this version of the song.

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