A Song About The Woes Of Zoom

A friend sent me this the other day and I laughed, laughed and laughed. Thankfully, I work with people who know how to work their Zoom since we often have to meet with people in other offices, so most of these things don’t happen to us, but when I was less familiar with Zoom, there was this one time when suddenly my colleague tapped me on the shoulder and said “Carin! All the camera is showing is a shot of your chest!” So now I really really really try to make sure that doesn’t happen…mostly by not turning my video on.

And if you’re out of touch like me, and need the reference to what this is parodying, here’s the original.

I knew Zoom was trouble when I logged in,
She can’t figure out her screen share presentation.
just clickout and
I knew Zoom was trouble when I logged in.
I’m gonna lose it if I see that earth background again.
And my wifi just went down.
struggle, struggle, struggle!

I hear the joining sound, and then I start to dread.
It’s Susan’s ceiling fan, and one third of her head.
Tilt it down please, down please, point it down plee-ee-ee-ease.
My boss is freezing up, oh what an epic fail.
This really should have been, a flippin’ email.
Connecting, connecting, connect-ing-ing-ing-ing-ing-ing.
He has gamer headphones, and he’s using them for work.
But he’s clearly at a beach. What a jerk!

I knew Zoom was trouble when I logged in.
Now there’s five times more meetings than there have ever been.
so people-y
I knew Zoom was trouble when I logged in.
Now everybody thinksI have a double chin
Like I’m shooting from the cold hard ground
double, double, double.

Now it’s your turn to talk, and one thing I can’t help.
I’m not looking at you. I’m staring at my self,
Oh vanity! Oh vanity! Oh Vanity-ee-ee-ee-ee!
I tell them that my cam is causing me to lag,
So then I turn it off, and get a sleeping bag.
I’m napping. I’m napping. I’m napping-ing-ing-ing-ing.
And then someone tells a joke, and then everybody laughs.
It’s so flippin’ loud. Anxiety attack!

I knew zoom was trouble when I logged in.
Everybody’s kids are screaming, it’s distracting
Just calm them down! yeah
I knew Zoom was trouble when I logged in.
I am in the waiting room, nobody will let me in,
And I’m waiting ’til I hear that sound
Struggle , struggle, struggle!

And the saddest fear, comes creeping in.
We could still be here, in 2021.
wait… what? Seriously? WE could be doing this until 2021! Aaaaaa!

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