MURDER HORNETS!

I had never heard of the Holderness Family, but this will be my second video of theirs I’m posting today, and they have many many many many more. These people are hilarious.

But this video needs to be the anthem for 2020. It is perfect. Even before the MURDER HORNETS! and the Coronavirus, Steve and I were not having an amazing start to the year, and all I kept thinking of was this scene from Star Trek TNG.

Mostly the line about “He is becoming accustomed to the horrors he is witnessing. So, we change horrors!” That is how this year has felt.

Things are looking up, yeah we’re in phase 1.
Gonna open up some stores, gonna have a little fun.
Gonna maybe go outside, gonna put on some shoes.
Here I go…wait! What is that thing on the news?
It’s a MURDER HORNET!
Yeah…going back inside, gonna sit this one out, maybe stay here and hide now.
Head to the back porch, sit on the swing, read a Facebook post…oh! Look at that thing!
It’s a MURDER HORNET!
Ok…throwaway my phone. Now it’s all I think about when I am alone.
Cuzz the article about MURDER HORNETS! that I’ve read says it hunts down some bees and it bites off their heads and…
MURDER HORNETS!
Dear 2020, uh, thank you so much for the Vespa Mandarinia,
curve getting flattened, yeah spirits were high. 2020 then be like “Yeah catch me outside.
I got a MURDER HORNET!”
Yeah…never gonna sleep, gonna try to forget it, gonna try counting sheep.
But instead of those fluffy things flyin’ through my head, there’s a 2-inch-long predatory insect instead.
It’s a MURDER HORNET!
Hmmm. How about June? Maybe there’ll be a new breed of venomous raccoons,
Or a giant army of like fire breathing cats, or a bunny rabbit that farts anthrax gas? Yeah
MURDER HORNETS!
And they are killin’ all the bees, yeah.
MURDER HORNETS!
They live mostly in the trees, yeah.
MURDER HORNETS!
I really don’t want them to chase us.
MURDER HORNETS!
They got scary orange faces.
MURDER HORNETS!
This thing can be deadly, yeah.
MURDER HORNETS!
This year was bad enough already, yeah.
MURDER HORNETS!
I’ve never been so terrified.
MURDER HORNETS!
So will I ever go back outside?
MURDER HORNETS!

After the song ends there’s some talk about hoping we like the jingle, and then some serious talk about how much we need the bees and how we don’t need MURDER HORNETS! and how they’re worried these new bugs will spread throughout the country, and how scientists are hunting them down because they have killed 50 people a year in Japan. At the end, I laughed when he asked his dog what she would do if she saw a MURDER HORNET! and thinks she would try to eat it, and that would be bad. Yeah, Shmans probably would too, considering how she likes to snap at flies.

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11 Comments

  1. Yeah. Changing horrors is basically the size of it. This year has sucked more than any year has sucked in a long, long time. Start the year with an illness I couldn’t shake. Death in the family in January that just happened to land on the one fun day we had in the whole stupid month. Death in the family in February. Coronavirus from March until who knows when. This year is pretty well garbage.

    1. Oh yes, and let’s not forget while we were dealing with death no. 1, the person who was to become death no. 2 had two serious injuries. And then my dad, who was recovering from heart surgery broke his chest with a cough so bad that it had the potential to give him pneumonia, plus some other health scares falling on other people’s heads. Listen, 2020, don’t you dare say “Hold my beer.”

          1. It’s funny you say that, because I was thinking not long ago about how surprising it is that we don’t have anyone in our close orbit that’s been hit by the Coronavirus. We can do the friend of a friend or the friend of a friend of a friend thing, but nobody either of us actually knows has come down with it or died from it…at least not that we know of. And no universe, this is not a challenge.

        1. Might as well. How the heck many movies are on that list now?

          Oh, and I’m trying something that probably won’t make any difference to our little comment problem, but reply when you see this, especially if you get it the way you’re supposed to get it.

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