Drinkin’ And Huggin’ And Kissin’ And Spittin’

Notwithstanding the way he’s approaching the back to school plan, I stand by what I said a few months ago. The Doug Ford that we’ve gotten during the pandemic is a much better Doug Ford than the regular Doug Ford. He’s also a pretty amusing Doug Ford, and not for the usual reasons (mockery, ridicule, etc).
The top 12 Doug Ford quotes from Ontario’s pandemic press briefings

His description of ragers
We all know Doug Ford’s brother Rob liked to party, and it seems based on how Doug now describes parties that the duo may have seen some pretty bonkers nights in their earlier years.
The premier has been talking a lot about social gatherings lately, referring to a few of them as “wild backyard parties where people are drinking, hugging, kissing, spitting, every other thing they can possibly think of” on Sept. 17.
In the same briefing, he called organized weddings at banquet halls that are following health and safety measures far, far different than the “free -for-all parties where everyone is going hog wild swinging off the trees and everything,” which are apparently a thing that some miscreants in Ontario are hosting these days.
On Sept. 18, he again mentioned crazy party antics like “hugging and kissing and swinging off the trees and spittin’ and everything else.”
Definitely does not sound like my kind of party, COVID or not.

Pretty sure this one is my favourite, although I somehow missed the bits about swinging from trees when I heard it originally. How in the hell did none of those make it into any of the reports I saw or read? It’s even better now, and I wasn’t sure that was possible.

Part of the reason it’s so funny to me is that it reminds me of Carin and all of the times she’s described an angry person as “hissin’ and spittin'”. I think that one may have been handed down from her dad, but I’m not certain.

Speaking of things that remind me of people, this one kind of sounds like me.

Oh yeah, and about those yahoos — the streetracing ones, specifically — Ford had some tough words to offer them, which ended up making viewers crack up a little.
“If we weren’t so backlogged on MRIs, I’d send you to the MRI to get your brain scanned, because I just don’t think there’s anything in there,” he near-shouted on Sept. 21.

I laughed out loud at that. It was just so unexpected.

Feel free to keep the entertainment coming, Doug. But please do also take some time to realize that capping gathering limits at 10 people while allowing class sizes of up to 30 students plus staff doesn’t make much sense and is not an apples and oranges comparison. It’s more like comparing apples to smaller, younger apples. And it doesn’t do anyone any good to have those small apples crammed much too closely together so that they can bring apple scab home and infect all of the larger, older apples around them with it.

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  1. Yup, that was a dad thing. I think it came from cats. We’d get mad and he’d say “Ah stop hissin’ and spittin’.” and now I say it all the time. I was a pretty big hisser and spitter as a kid. And yeah, don’t bring home your apple scab and kill Granny Smith with it.

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