I Told You I’d Beat The Pulp Out Of You

I imagine this particular pumpkin was likely meant for carving, but I’m still counting its fate as a food feud because roasted pumpkin seeds are yummy and because pumpkin pie exists.

Police say that when they responded to the couple’s Largo residence, the victim was “covered in pumpkin seeds and pulp.” Garisto, cops noted, was “heavily intoxicated while engaged in a verbal argument with his girlfriend.”
After refusing his girlfriend’s requests to leave the home, Garisto allegedly “threw a pumpkin and all insides of the pumpkin at the subject,” the complaint alleges. When questioned by police, Garisto claimed that he only “threw the pumpkin at the sliding doors,” and not at the victim.

That’s almost certainly a lie, but I know a guy who was drunk enough that he once tripped over an object that didn’t exist and severely broke his leg, so there’s a slim possibility that buddy here does just have really terrible aim.

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