badmouth Me And My Friends One More Time. I Dare Ya

Unless you’re seriously interested in Chicago transit and its troubles with pigeons treating parts of it the way pigeons treat pretty much everything, you’re only going to need the first minute or so of this video. That’s where the magic happens. Talk about dumb luck during a Morning Insiders interview – near a very busy […]

I Get Rough And Tough In The Puff ‘n’ Fluff! Noooo!

That soundtrack has nothing to do with the subject matter, but it’s what enters my head whenever I think about this invention…along with the imagined distressed sounds of dogs. I feel like a jerk making fun of an invention dreamed up by a third-grader, and maybe I can’t judge until I’ve actually laid hands on […]

The Car Broke Down! What Do We Do!? I Know, Let’s Call Lyft Your Stuff

This should be your typical Master Criminals tale. Two thieves are caught in the act, they try to flee but can’t because their getaway car has other plans, but then, instead of taking off on foot, they decide to hang out and call someone else for a ride. Indeed, this ought to nestle neatly into […]

Why Can’t You Gift Patreon Time To A Friend?

Seriously, it’s like the most bleeding obvious thing. But here I am, thinking about what I might want to give and receive for Christmas this year, and the ability to subscribe someone else to something they would want through only like the biggest subscription platform in the world isn’t a thing I can do. And […]

The Only Way To Stop A Good Guy With A Key Is A Good Guy With A Gun

It’s bad enough that this woman shot her own daughter because she came home unexpectedly, but just look at this horseshit. Chief Norman said he tried to think of what advice to give in such a difficult case, “If you realize someone has a gun for protection, and they’re not expecting you — announce yourself when […]