Don’t Run With Scissors, Jimmy. Snort Them Instead

Seriously, what in the actual hell is this and how did it ever go beyond the wouldn’t it be funny if…stage?

Another fun and innovative product from Westcott! Sniffs are the first and only scented kids’ scissors, sure to make crafts, projects and homework more fun and exciting than ever before. Make sure to scratch and sniff the label on the package to sample the scent. Enjoy collecting them all! WARNING: Do not put scissors in or near mouth. ONLY handles are scented. Blades are not scented and should not be placed near the face.

The obvious question, aside from the one I’ve already posed, is who asked for this? Were millions of school children rebelling against art class because their scissor grips didn’t smell like watermelons? Did these Westcott people travel to a bunch of teachers conferences and hear nothing but stories of how much easier life would be if only there was a way to get the kids to put sharp objects up their noses?

At present, these things do not appear to be available for sale on Amazon. Since I’ve heard nothing of a spike in ER visits due to nasal related misadventure, I’m going to hope that for once good sense has prevailed.

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