Sweet Dreams Are Not Made of Coronavirus

As this stupid virus drags on, I’m happy I’m not having as many dreams about it as I did at the beginning. But I still have had a couple wacky ones so I thought I would write them down.

The first one was the longest and most drawn out. I had it a few months ago so I’m having to scratch my head to remember the details. I had somehow gotten into a situation where I needed someone to help me print something, and I needed to use their printer. I got in contact with a woman who lived in my neighbourhood and she said she would help me. She said her house was in a place that was hard to describe, but she would meet me part of the way there. I thanked her and arranged a time to meet.

For whatever reason, Steve came with me. As we were walking down one side of a street, I heard a yell from the other side of the street. It was her. She said I had to cross right there and run through some thorny bushes. I don’t like to j-walk for obvious reasons, but this was a quiet street. I was also not enjoying the idea of running us and the dog through thorny bushes, but this thing I had to print must have been really important because we did it. She continued to lead Steve and I down this odd path into some woods I think. As we arrived near her house, she said “You understand now why you wouldn’t have found it, right?” I agreed. As we approached what passed for her door, a large dog on a chain growled at us. With every step we got closer, it growled louder. She assured me that he wouldn’t do anything, and said something to the dog and it stopped growling, so we pushed on.
Then I had to climb up these super uneven stairs, sometimes I had to drag my body up considerable heights and Steve would boost me up from below before climbing up himself. It kind of reminded me of the weird ladders and tunnels of play structures. Finally, we got past the dog, and huffed and puffed our way into her house. I wondered how I would get down when I was done. Steve had longer legs, but Would I have to jump?

We got to her computer, and it seemed she barely knew how to use it. So, we stood next to her, giving her very careful instructions on how to put in the USB stick, find the file, print it, etc. This took a very long time and she even printed the wrong thing once so we had to wait for the right thing to print. For some reason, she was using my old printer, which always printed things slowly. When we got things printed, we showed her how to do a couple of things with her computer, which also took a while.

After we were done, she invited us to sit down and have tea with her. We were just talking when a knock came at her door. She walked over and said “Oh! Good! It’s the mailman! He’s bringing my COVID test results!” At the word “COVID”, Steve and I both nudged each other, knowing we were thinking the same thing. COVID test results? Ohmygod what had we done? How many times did we have the chance to turn back and we didn’t? How long had we been in her house, standing very close to her? What were we thinking? Why couldn’t we have found a better way to get this printed? Then she said “Oh good. It’s negative!” and I woke up.

The other one was one of those dreams where I wake up and wonder if that might be the beginnings of some kind of invention. I had a dream we were going to see everybody in our family, but each household would be inside a sort of round see-through pod. There were different sizes of pods depending on how many people were in a household. We were going to have a gathering and test out just how well these things would work. I don’t know how people were expected to move their pods around. I guess they were kind of like hamster balls and we all had to coordinate our running to move the ball one way or another. That kind of sucked. But people could see us through the ball and they could talk to us too. Steve’s grandpa called them snow globes and his uncle walked up to the ball and pretended to pick it up and shake it like you do to change the view of the snow inside. After a few good laughs, we would visit with the other pods, and hamster ball our way around to talk to other people. I woke up and wondered if someone would design such a thing, but just fix the hamster ball part.

And those are the wacky COVID-influenced dreams I’ve had lately. Well, at least my brain is creative.

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